On dating myself: the three things I learnt from taking myself on a date to the rugby

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Cheers to my first date with myself at the Australia vs Argentina rugby game!

Saturday 17th September 2016 was my very first official date with myself. I attended a Perth Rugby Business Network presentation and networking event followed by the Australia vs Argentina Rugby Championship match at nib Stadium. As you do when going on a date, I took my time priming myself up, doing my nails and hair and choosing a nice outfit (no Wallabies scarf for me, it was certainly “Vamos Pumas!” all the way).

Having been in the dating game for longer than I care to admit and starting to feel somewhat drained by it all, I’ve been toying with the idea of “dating yourself” for quite some time. As cheesy as the idea might sound, I think it’s a really awesome way to just enjoy your own company, get out and do things you really love and try out new things without feeling like you have to compromise and accommodate for someone else’s interests. And it doesn’t matter whether you’re single, married, dating other people or in a long term relationship – dating yourself is a great way to put aside time for yourself so that in the long run you can be a better person for others.

It took quite a while for me to take the plunge and book tickets – I racked my brain trying to think of someone who would be super keen to check these things out and pay out what is a lot of money for rugby tickets ($80 for a goal-end seat, which is on the pricey side) but I was struggling. I even consulted Google about going to a sports match alone (you’ll get over 49 million search results). But in the end I asked myself a simple question: “If I were to go on a date with someone to the rugby, would I enjoy this?”

“Hell YES!” Then Korii, you are going on a date to the rugby with yourself.

And I am so proud of myself, not so much for the decision to book tickets to these events but for the decision to be confident and owning my decision to do these things alone. The presentation was incredibly insightful – there was a Q&A session with some Western Force players which I felt gave a great insight into the life of a professional rugby player and an optimism that the sport will hopefully grow here in Western Australia. We also got to hear all about the new Perth Stadium which should be ready to go in 2018 and how it will accommodate for rugby matches. As a self-proclaimed rugby nut, this was all very exciting for me.

I also managed to make some new friends who kept me company for the rest of the evening until we went our separate way at the stadium in time for kick-off. And I was so busy just enjoying the game and being out of the house that I had a really, really good time. In fact I had a lot more fun than I’ve had on first dates with a lot of guys. With such a good thing going on, I’m inclined to just keep dating myself in the meantime.

And from this wonderful night out, there were three main things I took away:

1) Life is too short to not do things because you have no one to do them with

I always longed to have a fellow adventure/travel buddy by my side to hold my hand while we went out and did all these amazing things. The idea of going out and trying a new restaurant or going on a road trip solo just seemed way too scary even for a ferociously independent soul like me. But if you keep using the excuse that you have no one to go with, you’ll miss out on way too many awesome things, experiences and people and end up with a lot of regret. So if you’ve always wanted to visit that museum, go to that concert or try that sport but can’t think of someone who will join you then bite the bullet, go out there and just do it!

2) You learn to be more present and engaged

As opposed to a date with someone else, where you’re probably spending most of that time silently worrying about what they’re thinking of or feeling about you, when you take yourself out on a date it’s all about how you are feeling and being truly engaged and present with yourself. As a result, you can spend that time enjoying the actual date – whether that’s the plot of the movie you’re watching or how the wine tastes with your dinner or how good the music is at a gig, instead of worrying whether the colour of your nails matches your dress or if your hair is straight enough or if your shoes match your belt.

3) The importance of enjoying and being comfortable with your own company

Instead of being so fixated on whether people would be judging me for sitting at a rugby game all alone, I actually had way too much enjoying the game.

Admittedly this takes a lot of work especially if you’re not used to going out of your comfort zone, but like anything, the more you practice, the better you get. As a starter, perhaps challenge yourself to take yourself out for a coffee or smoothie or a breakfast at a local cafe and start building up to more challenging situations like live gigs, concerts, sports games and classes/workshops.

And quite frankly, if you’re not even comfortable with your own company, how can you expect others to be? There is nothing more attractive than someone who just owns what he or she does, not caring what other people will think of them. Ever heard the saying about people in relationships being more attractive? Well when you date yourself, it’s the same thing as Poetri alludes to in his poem Dating Myself:

“But you know how women are
Once they see you with someone, all sudden, now they wanna get with ya
All sudden I’m that cute guy that is dating someone now”

So whether or not you’re married, single or in a relationship – I dare you to take yourself on a date every now and then. It could be something as simple as going out for a massage, going to a movie or something a bit more challenging like taking yourself away to another town for the weekend.

I am totally loving dating myself at the moment and I am very excited for the next date!

Question: Have you ever taken yourself out on a date? If so, what did you do and how did it go? Feel free to leave a comment here or on the Facebook page!

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